How Can I Stop Comparing Myself to Other Women?

Tired of constantly comparing yourself to other women?

You open Instagram, and there she is again.

Flawless skin. Smiling kids. Perfectly styled kitchen. And somehow, she’s running a business on the side and still managing to look like she’s just stepped out of a wellness retreat.

You know you shouldn’t compare… but something about her highlight reel pokes at a sore spot.

What am I doing wrong? Why don’t I have it together like she does?

Sound familiar?

You’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken. Comparison is something almost every woman struggles with, especially in a world that constantly tells us we should be “more.” But here’s the good news: there’s a way out. You can stop comparing yourself to others and start living from a place of real confidence and clarity.

Let’s talk about how.

Why You Compare Yourself (And Why It Hurts)

Comparison isn’t just a modern issue, it’s human. Our brains are wired to assess where we stand in relation to others. Back in the day, this helped us survive. Today? It mostly just steals our joy.

The problem is, we’re not comparing fairly. You’re seeing someone’s curated online presence and comparing it to your real, unfiltered life.

You might think, She’s always smiling. Her life looks so easy. But behind the scenes? That same woman might be crying in the school pickup line, battling imposter syndrome, or barely holding it together.

Comparison often leads to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and this constant low-level shame that whispers, “You’re not enough.” And that cycle? It’s exhausting.

If you’ve been there, you’re not alone. My Body Image Reset 1:1 Coaching was created to help women like you break free from these patterns and finally build self-worth that isn’t based on what anyone else is doing.

The Myth of “Having It All Together”

Let’s be honest, what does having it all together even mean?

For most of us, it’s a moving target. Maybe, at one point, it meant getting the dream job. Then, it became having a Pinterest-worthy home and the perfect bikini body all year round. And now? It’s juggling everything flawlessly while looking rested, glowing and radiating happiness and positivity.

We’re told women should be everything to everyone, and that’s just not realistic. No one has it all together. Even the women who look like they do are probably struggling with something you can’t see.

A friend once said to me, “I used to look at my neighbor like she was Superwoman. Then she opened up and told me she was seeing a therapist for burnout and anxiety. I was shocked. I thought she had the perfect life.”

You never really know what’s going on behind the scenes. You are never comparing yourself to a true picture of someone else or their life.

What to Do Instead – 4 Mindset Shifts That Help

1. Pause when Comparing Yourself and Name the Feeling

The next time you spot that you’re comparing yourself, take a second. Instead of spiraling, try naming what’s going on.

“I’m feeling not good enough because I just saw a woman on the beach and it’s triggered negative feelings towards my body.”

That awareness alone disrupts the pattern.

2. Replace Envy with Curiosity

Envy can actually be a signpost. Instead of staying stuck in Why her?, ask: What is this showing me about what I value?

Maybe the ways she moves with confidence or seems at peace reading her book or playing with her kids points to something you’re craving. And it’s probably not really about her body. It also doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’ve identified a desire. That’s powerful, and a good way to shift your focus from body related goals.

3. Ground Yourself in Truth

Your worth isn’t earned through productivity, appearance, or performance. It’s already there.

If you need a reminder, make a list of what you love about yourself, your creativity, humour, compassion, and intelligence. The things that make you you.

4. Curate Your Feed + Feed Your Soul

Seriously, social media comparison is real. Unfollow the accounts that trigger insecurity. Follow people who remind you to rest, to breathe, to be kind to yourself.

Want a practical starting point? Download my free ebook, The Body Image Boost, it’s full of gentle mindset shifts and strategies to help you build confidence without needing to change a thing about how you look.

When It’s Deeper Than Social Media

Sometimes, comparison isn’t just about photos online, it’s about long-standing beliefs about your worth.

Maybe you grew up feeling like you had to earn love or be the best to be seen. Maybe you were always compared to someone else.

If that’s the case, it might be worth exploring those roots. Journaling, talking to a coach, or even just having an honest conversation with someone in your life you trust can start to untangle those beliefs.

This kind of emotional self-care work isn’t fluff, it’s the foundation of building lasting self-esteem and mental well-being.

The Truth About Your Story

Here’s a truth we don’t hear enough:
Just because your journey looks different doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Maybe you’re not where you thought you’d be by now. But what if your “setback” is actually a setup for something better? What if you’re not behind, you’re just getting started or realigning?

Detours can be full of wisdom, character growth, and clarity. They often lead us somewhere more aligned than we could’ve planned ourselves.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking, She’s so far ahead, remind yourself: I’m on my own timeline. And I’m allowed to take my time.

You’re Not Falling Behind – You’re on Track!

It’s time to stop chasing someone else’s version of success and start creating your own. You’re allowed to love your life, even if it doesn’t look like hers. Especially if it doesn’t.

Let go of the highlight reel. Anchor into what makes you feel alive, grounded, and whole.

And if you need support along the way?
You’re not alone.

My new community, The Beyond the Mirror Membership is a safe, empowering space full of women learning how to ditch comparison, build confidence, and finally feel like enough.

No more shrinking, spiraling or believing the lie that you’re behind or not enough.

You are enough. Just as you are.

xxx