Do you find yourself setting new year’s resolutions with the aim of building your confidence and just being ‘happier’ this year?
You head into the year full of plans and hopes of transforming how you feel about yourself, making more time for yourself and finally getting that confidence you so desperately want, only to feel disheartened by February.
Perhaps you ‘fail’ to achieve your goal, resulting in another thing you ‘can’t do’ being added to your ‘failure list’. Or maybe you stick to your resolutions, but for some reason it doesn’t seem have the impact on your life that you’d hoped for.
While you might be tempted to start that detox or diet, hit the gym everyday and overhaul your entire life as you dive into 2023, I want you to pause and think about what goals you’re setting and why you’re actually setting them.
Most of us set new year’s resolutions around fitness, health and diet, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your overall fitness, health and wellbeing. But, what I want you to think about today is whether the goals you set actually help you achieve those, and are they actually the new years resolutions that will benefit you the most and result in you feeling more confident and happy?
Today I want you to think about these 5 questions to help you get a clear picture of what goals you can work on in 2023 to make it your best year yet.
No quick fixes, no fads. Your answers to these questions will lead to a happy, positive and healthy 2023, and best of all, changes that will last and be truly what you need and want.
1. What made you happy in 2022?
I want you to think about everything that made you happy in 2022, big and small. What people, places or experiences made you smile and feel good.
Think about what is was about these things or people that made you feel happy?
Exercise – Brainstorm what made you happy in 2022. A great way to do this is to look back through your photos on your phone and see what’s in there. We never take pictures of the people or situations that have made us unhappy, so your photo album will be full of things that made you happy in 2022.
Take this list and think about how you can make more time for these people or experiences in 2023. How else can you create moments like these?
Make 2023 your year for creating happiness in everyday, however small.
2. What made you feel unhappy in 2022?
In the same way that in 2023, you want to do more of the things that brought you joy, we also want to leave behind the things that made us unhappy in 2022, where possible.
Exercise – Ask yourself the following questions and write down what comes up for you. What or who:
- Drained your energy?
- Made you feel negatively towards yourself?
- Stopped you feeling content?
- Was out of alignment with who you really are or want to be
Obviously you’re only able to change the things in your control, for example, who you spend time with, how long you scroll down your social media feed and how you react in situations. So using the answers that come up, what do you want to do less of or leave behind in 2023? And how can you do that?
3. What lessons have you learnt in 2022?
The highs and lows you might have experienced in 2022 all leave you with lessons learnt. Whether those lessons are about yourself, those around you or your life. When you dive into 2023 take those lessons with you, and let them guide you into creating an amazing 2023.
Exercise: Reflect back on 2022, what have you learnt? What struggles have you faced and overcome? Perhaps there are challenges you are still trying to overcome?
For example, have you learnt that you are able to do difficult things, or perhaps that you are more creative that you thought. Have you learnt that someone is perhaps not as supportive of your goals are you thought they were or that you need to work on a specific barrier or area of your life to be able to have the 2023 you want.
Once you have a list, whether that’s one lesson learnt or twenty, ask yourself how can this lesson help me have a happy 2023?
4. What do you wish you’d made more time for in 2022?
When you look back over 2022 are there things you wish you had made more time for?
Remember, this is about what you wish you had made more time for, not what someone else wishes you had made more time for or things you think you ‘should’ have done more.
Exercise: Write down all the thing you wish you had made more time for. Perhaps that’s days out with the family, networking in your business or having fun nights out with friends.
This exercise isn’t about feeling bad or judging that you didn’t do these things as much as you would have liked. The aim is to be aware that you want to make more time for them.
What will help you make more time for these things in 2023? Make sure you plan for them, often you need to consciously make more time for things we want to do. When will you do them? How often?
Make more time for the things that truly matter to you in 2023.
5. What do you want to do less in 2023?
Again, in the same way you just brainstormed all the things you want to make more time for in 2023. This question is about doing with same, with regards to what you want to do less of in 2023.
These can be daily habits like going to bed late, spending less time with people who make you feel bad or default behaviours like complaining and blaming.
Exercise: Make a list of everything you want to do less of in 2023. Take some time with this, don’t overthink it and no judgement with anything you write down.
Once you have your list ask yourself:
- How can I do this less?
- What do I need to do, to help me to do this less?
- How will doing this less impact me?
- Do I need support from anyone to do this?
If you have a few things, you might not be able to do all of them less in 2023 and that’s ok. Even just focusing on one will make a massive positive impact on how 2023 goes for you.
2023 is going to be your best year yet
Working through these questions has hopefully given you a true insight into how you can make 2023 your best year yet. If a lot came up for you, don’t allow yourself to become overwhelmed or stressed thinking about how to ‘do it all’.
You don’t have to do it all. In fact, I invite you not to. Out of everything that has come up for you, choose what you feel would have the most significant impact for you in 2023.
I can’t tell you which to focus on, no-one can. You know yourself and what you want the best, so go with what feels right for you.
This year is a new chapter in your life. You write your own story. So what’s next for you?
I would love you to share in the comments one thing that is going to make 2023 your best year yet.
Hey I’m Natalie, Supporting women like you on their road to self-acceptance and building their self-esteem is – as cliche as it sounds – my calling.