A woman sat writing in a journal at a table uncovering and building her self-belief

Building Self-Belief: Discovering Who You Are and What You Want

In a world that bombards us with external pressures, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and lose touch with ourselves.

This disconnection is something pretty much everyone deals with, but for many women, it hits them even harder. The crazy mix of societal expectations, cultural norms, and life experiences can mess with our self-belief and body image.

You know those days when you just can’t shake those negative thoughts and you’re feeling kinda down on yourself? It’s like those gloomy clouds blocking out the sunshine of self-belief. They cast these long shadows that make it tough to see where you’re going. And those clouds, they’re sneaky, they keep whispering these not-so-nice thoughts that drown out your inner cheerleader. During these tough times that we can lose sight of who we really are and what we desire for ourselves.

But you know what? Amongst all that self-doubt and insecurity, there’s actually a glimmer of hope, and it’s all about building up your self-belief. It starts with taking a good, hard look at yourself and getting in touch with your inner self. When you become aware of whats happening and reconnect with yourself, you can handle those stormy seas of self-doubt. The result is that you come out on the other side feeling stronger, happier and with greater self-belief.

The Foundations of Self-Belief

Self-belief is not just a feeling or a fleeting emotion. Self-belief is a sturdy structure that provides stability and support in the ever-changing landscape of your life. Imagine it as a house that you construct within yourself, brick by brick, thought by thought, and belief by belief. At the core of this mental and emotional dwelling lies the foundation: your understanding of yourself.

Just like a real house, your self-belief house also relies on a solid base to weather the storms. If your foundation is not solid, your walls of confidence and self-belief start to shake when things get hard. As a result your self-belief might not hold up well when faced with challenges.

So, if you want to build solid self-belief, let’s kick things off by tackling some basic questions. Think of these questions as the solid ground you need to lay down before you start building your self-belief “house.”

1. What Really Matters to Me?

Understanding what truly matters to you is like finding the North Star in the night sky. It provides you with a guiding light in the journey towards self-belief. This foundational question prompts a deep dive into your inner world, where your values, interests, and passions reside. 

So, let’s explore this question in a little more detail:

Your Core Values

Your values are the compass of your life. They shape your decisions, define your priorities, and guide your actions. Reflect on the principles that you hold dear, whether it’s integrity, compassion, justice, or creativity. These values are the building blocks of your character, and recognising them is the first step in cultivating self-belief. When your beliefs about yourself align with your core values, your self-belief becomes authentic and unwavering.

Unearthing Your Interests

Interests are like seeds waiting to sprout into passions. They are the things that pique your curiosity, excite your mind, and give life a sense of purpose. What subjects, hobbies, or activities make you feel alive and engaged? Your interests hold the potential to become the fertile soil from which self-belief can flourish. As you invest time and energy in what truly interests you, your sense of competence and confidence naturally grows.

Woman making her own furniture as her interest and hobby and in turn identifying her self-belief

Passions That Ignite Your Soul

Passions are the flames that burn brightest within you. They are the activities, causes, or pursuits that evoke an intense emotional response. Identifying your passions is a powerful step in the journey toward self-belief, they are where your heart and soul are fully engaged. Your passions can be a source of profound self-fulfilment, and they often lead to a deep sense of purpose.

The Timeless Moments

Consider the moments when you lose track of time. When hours pass like minutes because you are so engrossed in what you’re doing. These moments are like glimpses into your true self. They reveal the activities that align with your natural talents and inclinations. 

So, if you start noticing moments where time flies because you’re loving what you’re doing, that’s where the magic happens. Those moments can point you towards things that really play to your strengths and help you build up your self-belief.

Embracing Yourself

When you identify what truly matters to you, it’s crucial to do so without judgement or comparison. There is an amazing book by Brene Brown called the Gift of Imperfection which I highly recommend. Your values, interests, and passions are uniquely yours and may differ from other peoples. Embrace them as the essence of your being, the qualities that make you who you are. Self-belief flourishes when you fully accept and celebrate your authentic self.

Let’s say you suddenly realise that you’re super passionate about helping kids learn and grow. This could lead you to become a mentor or volunteer, giving you a huge sense of purpose and self-belief. Or perhaps you love for cooking and start whipping up amazing dishes could fill you with self-worth and confidence.

Woman writing in her journal love yourself to help build on her self-belief

So, this first step to boost your self-belief is all about getting to know yourself better and being cool with who you are. It’s like recognising the mix of things you’re into, what gets you excited, and what you’re all about. Once you figure that out by answering the question, “What’s really important to me?” you’re starting this big, transformative journey toward real self-belief. It’s all about being true to yourself and believing in what makes you, you.

2. How Do I Want My Life to Look?

Visualising your dream life is like going on a mental adventure that can boost your self-belief. It’s a fun exercise that lets you break free from the things holding you back. Tackling your negative body image and low self-esteem, and letting your imagination run wild. This is where the tiny seeds of self-belief really start to take root, especially for women dealing with these challenges.

So, let’s dive into this question a little deeper too:

The Power of Imagination

Think of your imagination as this amazing superpower. It’s like having a blank canvas where you can paint the most awesome and exciting pictures of your life. When you just close your eyes and let your imagination go wild, you’re basically tapping into this incredible energy. It turns those regular daydreams into a force that can really make things happen and bring about some awesome changes.

Details Matter

As you visualise your ideal life, pay attention to the details. Imagine the career that ignites your passion, the relationships that nurture your soul, the environments that surround you, and the experiences that fill your heart and days. By delving into these specifics, you not only create a vivid mental image but also infuse your vision with emotions and sensations.

Breaking Free from Limitations

This exercise helps you break free from those limits you’ve put on yourself. The belief that you don’t deserve certain things because of how you see your body or feel about yourself? Well, this exercise can show you that those limits are all in your head. You’re totally deserving of everything you want. You deserve awesome relationships, and amazing experiences, no matter what society says or how you feel about yourself right now.

Young happy sportswoman running on the road in the morning working on building her self-belief.

Dreaming Big

So, when it comes to boosting your self-belief, aim high. It’s all about having the guts to picture a life that goes way beyond what those negative thoughts and what society says is possible. Dreaming big means recognising that who you are, your skills, and what you dream of aren’t limited by how you look or what you’ve been told. It’s all about how amazing you are on the inside and how much awesome stuff you’re capable of. Don’t hold back, go for those big dreams!

Let’s put it this way: if you’ve always had this big dream of pursuing a career you’re super passionate about, but maybe you’ve been holding back because of how you feel about your body, I’ve got a trick for you. Close your eyes and picture yourself absolutely owning that dream job with total confidence. Imagine yourself surrounded by supportive people and in places that make you feel like you can use your talents and chase your dreams to the max.

Those daydreams? They’re like the tiny seeds that kickstart your self-belief. It’s not just wishful thinking; it’s a ninja move that can reshape how you see your own potential. It’s like a turbo boost that gives you a fresh sense of purpose, helping you see that the amazing life you want is totally within reach, no matter what you think about your body or what society says. 

Thinking about your dream life is like giving yourself a superpower boost. It’s about taking control of your story, rising above those negative thoughts, and growing your self-belief from the understanding that you’re seriously amazing and full of potential. Don’t hold back, dream those big dreams, splash your life with the boldest colours, and see how your self-belief blooms into a garden of confidence and empowerment that’s out of this world!

3. How Do I Want to Feel?

Understanding and handpicking the emotions you want to bring into your life is a huge deal when it comes to boosting your self-belief. It’s like going on a quest deep into your own thoughts, finding what you truly desire, and making sure you’re totally in sync with your authentic self. 

So, let’s dig a little deeper into this whole idea:

The Power of Emotions

Emotions are the driving force behind your actions, decisions, and experiences. They colour your perception of the world and influence the quality of your life. By considering the emotions you wish to nurture, you gain the ability to steer your life in a direction that resonates with your deepest self.

Emotional Compass

Think of the emotions you want to feel as your emotional compass. Just as a physical compass points north, your emotional compass guides you toward choices and experiences that are in harmony with your true self. If you desire confidence, joy, empowerment, or inner peace, these emotions serve as guiding stars, illuminating your path.

Creating Your Emotional Blueprint

When you consciously choose the emotions you want to cultivate, you are essentially creating an emotional blueprint for your life. This blueprint becomes the framework for your self-belief journey. It influences not only how you interact with the world but also how you perceive yourself.

Living Authentically

Your desired emotions serve as a constant reminder of the life you are striving to create. When you are connected to these emotions, self-belief becomes more than just a distant goal, it becomes a natural byproduct of living authentically. 

A group of women smiling at the camera.

Here’s the deal: if you’re aiming to feel more confident, you’ll find yourself naturally making choices that give your self-esteem a boost. And here’s the cool part, this positive cycle keeps on strengthening your self-belief along the way.

Here are some examples of how that might look for you:
  • If you want to feel confident, you might challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone, take on new opportunities, and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
  • To cultivate joy, you may seek out activities and experiences that bring you genuine happiness, whether it’s spending time in nature, pursuing creative endeavours, or connecting with loved ones.
  • Empowerment might lead you to advocate for your needs, set boundaries, and take charge of your life choices.
  • Inner peace might encourage you to prioritise self-care, practice mindfulness, and let go of unnecessary stressors.

By focusing on the emotions you want to cultivate, you actively engage in shaping your life and self-belief. These emotions act as beacons, guiding you toward experiences and choices that align with your authentic self. Over time, as you consistently make decisions and take actions that resonate with your chosen emotions, self-belief blossoms as a natural consequence of your commitment to living authentically.

In essence, this step is about giving yourself permission to not only identify the emotions you desire, but also actively pursue them. It’s a commitment to your emotional well-being and a recognition that self-belief is not just an abstract concept but a tangible, lived experience. By embracing and nurturing these desired emotions, you step into the power of your own self-belief and begin to shape a life that reflects your true desires.

The Power of Self-Discovery

When you dig into these questions, you might discover some awesome things about yourself that you didn’t even know were there. Each answer is like a little light showing the way to more self-belief.

Your core values become your go-to guide, helping you make choices that match your true self. And that dreamy picture of your ideal life? It’s like rocket fuel for your determination, pushing you to take steps to make it a reality. Plus, those feelings you want to cultivate? They’re like your trusty compass, helping you steer through life’s challenges with grace and resilience. 

When you go through this whole thing, you’re not just building up your self-belief, but you’re also growing this deep sense of self-worth. And here’s the kicker, self-belief isn’t about never having doubts. It’s about having the guts to believe in yourself even when those doubts pop up.

As you dive into this journey of self-discovery, you’ll see that self-belief becomes like your best buddy, giving you the strength to love and rock your body and your life with total confidence. And hey, if you ever need more support, come and join us inside my monthly membership, Be You, where you’ll find support, love, and resources to help you get started.

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